5 Reasons You’re Happy But Also Self-Centred
Happy…but self-centred? Some people are like that. They’re so happy with thei life choices and outcomes. There’s nothing wrong with that, until they start assuming that they represent the whole world’s current situation. Worst of all, they tend to blind themselves towards the varieties of reality around them.
These people aren’t always cold and selfish. In fact, they still care about other people’s well-being…in rather unpleasant ways. They well-meaning intentions become ill-intentions because what they do and say make other people feel mentally-suffocated. Hopefully you’re not like that. To find out, here are five (5) reasons you’re happy but also self-centred:
1. Since your choices solve your problems, you figure they also work for other people.
You can be a happy, stay-at-home mom or a career woman. You can fly with the same airline or try different ones. You can eat certain foods or do some exercises others may not be familiar with. Either way, these are your personal choices that you feel have solved your problems.
There’s nothing in believing in whatever you’d like to believe. It’s not wrong either to suggest the same thing to other people. One thing that you need to remember is this: what works for you may not work for others too. Try not to take it personally if they disagree with you — or even if they don’t seem to be interested in trying what you do.
2. You can’t and don’t want to understand why people choose differently than you do.
“I don’t understand with people nowadays. I feel the joy of getting married / raising kids / being a career woman / choosing this kind of life.”
This what offended people often sounds like once their suggestion is rejected. Well, news flash: it’s not your job to change their lives to be exactly like what you want. They have their own ideas. If they choose not to follow your advice, that doesn’t always mean that they don’t like or even respect you.
Please, not everything has to be about you.
3. You try to make your choices look good by putting other people’s choices down.
“I have a much better life because of this, while others who don’t choose the same way are still scraping for dimes. The problem with people who think they’re smart is that they always want to win the argument. Their ego is their problem.”
If you really believe that your choices are already the best, then why do you still need to degrade other people’s choices? What’s with the comparison? Why does everything have to be a competition? How badly do you need to feel like a winner, that you end up bugging other people’s peace of mind?
4. You impose your beliefs and choices on other people, as if yours are the only best examples.
Yeah, yeah. Your best defense is that you only mean well. After all, your life choices have been right for you and that you are truly happy. Right?
You may think you know best, but you sound like an annoying know-it-all to them. No adults like being told what to do and how to live their lives openly, as if they’re too stupid to make their own decisions. Plus, you may sound like you’re suffering from a god-complex personality.
There’s a difference between giving advice to lecturing. Well, if you still can’t tell the difference, check your language again. Even if you do mean well, here’s the thing: if they don’t ask for advice from you, then don’t give any. It’s that simple. If you still wish to, ask if they have no problems hearing your input.
5. You use ad-hominem to counter every argument from other people who disagree with you.
“That’s fine if you disagree with me, but I can see why your life is going nowhere right now.”
“This is what I choose and I don’t care what critics say. I don’t expect them to understand.”
Everyone can have preferences about what they like and dislike. However, if you end up shutting down what starts as a healthy discussion that way, be ready for more negative reactions. (Yes, that includes dead silence and ignorance.)
Judging others personally like that does not make you look nor sound good. It doesn’t matter if you believe that you’re right and you have valid proofs for that.
You can still be happy without imposing your choices on other people. Yep, it’s not all about you. People come from different backgrounds and experiences. Just because it happens to you doesn’t mean it is the same way to others — and vice versa. Be fair, be kind. You’re not the only one who deserve acknowledgment.
R.
