The One with Unplanned Meetups
I don’t know what to call this. I’d like to know what you think, though:
Have you ever felt that planning to meet up with some people hardly works out, while doing it randomly with them turns out to work better?
I’m not talking about who makes more effort or manages their time and expectations better. This is not a competition. I’m stating a fact as it is.
Alright, for example: I’ve been wanting to hang out with this one good friend for a very long time — just the two of us. (Since it’s a guy, I must clarify with you all that it’s nothing romantic — at all!) We met two years ago at a local coffee shop/restaurant, each of us coming with our friends who have also known each other.
Shortly, we hit it off through his tarot card reading session and a long talk after that. To my surprise (and my friend’s too, that night), the guy had secretly paid for our orders as well.
“Oh, my God! Thank you.” I remember hugging him abruptly. He just smiled and hugged me back before we parted ways.
By the way, I still keep his old business card. We also know each other’s Instagram accounts. Our DMs are full of messages to each other.
Since that night, he and I had only met in person twice so far. The first was when we met at the same poetry event. The second was when I invited him to a karaoke session with my friends and me.
After that? None so far.
However, this is what I love about this guy as a friend. He’s not the clingy, nagging type. He doesn’t whine about me not making an effort to see him.
Before you start with the ‘gender stereotyping’ excuse, that’s not it. I’ve had male friends who were so demanding. I’ve also had female friends who were pretty chill with last-minute cancellations. You know, those who would shrug it off with: “Okay, so … next time, perhaps??”
He and I have our groups of friends, jobs, and stuff we love to do. We both reside in South Jakarta. It’s not like there’s any rush to meet up.
A Random Night of Gathering Friends:
About half a decade ago or so, I was still working my normal, 9-to-5 job. (Normal, as in it starts from 9:00 am and finishes at sometime around 5:00 pm, technically.) I was also still suffering from a series of severe migraines that one of my best friends then demanded that I have it checked.
That evening, I was at a hospital in Pondok Indah, waiting for my results from the radiology. Suddenly, that same best friend called me:
“Where are you now?” When I told him my location, he sounded excited. “Oh, good. You’re close.”
Long story short, he was checking out a new bakery nearby. Then he ran into our mutual friend. After a quick chat, one of them came up with an idea to call the rest of the group to join them there. (Me included, thankfully.)
There we were that night, at the café on the second floor of the bakery. Five of us had dinner, a long conversation, and a good laugh. We took pictures too. Great times.
Oh, and I also gave them good news that night:
My result was negative. No cancer or tumor. Yay!
I’m not saying that making plans is not important. It still is. Doing so helps you to allocate your time, energy, and — most especially — budget. Trust me when I say I don’t recommend overspending in this city, no matter how rich you think you are.
However, be ready for last-minute surprises. Life is like that in general, so try to be flexible too. Learn to manage your expectations. Always have a backup plan or activity, just in case.
Maybe, just maybe, you can learn to not take everything way too personally. That is the only way to reduce your disappointment when things don’t go your way.
Bibi
