The Perks of Being A Middle Child … or So They Say …

Before I begin, I’d like to remind you all this:

This story doesn’t represent all middle children around the world. This doesn’t even represent all of them in Indonesia, especially in Jakarta.

This is just about me, okay?

So, what are the perks of being a middle child?

I’m not going to make a TikTok video with the POV for “middle child”. I don’t have that confidence. As a middle child in my family, I’ve felt ‘centered’ — but that doesn’t mean I’m always the center of attention. Most of the time, I’m the last to receive any questions or be checked on. Why’s that?

Look, I’m not saying this out of sheer envy. I’m telling you this just as it is. All I’ve always known is that, both my siblings had gotten most of the attention — even when they were not doing anything spectacular.

Meanwhile, I’ve gone from one extreme to another, all for that. It was either I was the quietest or the loudest — back and forth. I’ve had my share of random successes and embarrassing failures.

I don’t seem to fit in anywhere. (Why should I?) I’ve been called ‘freak’ or ‘weirdo’ so many bloody times, even by people who are supposed to be kinder and more supportive of me.

Want to hear another piece of irony? Although I’m rarely the center of attention (that is, until … I don’t know, shit hits the fan — often caused by something I did — whatever the reason may be), I’m still expected to be the peacekeeper. Yes, that’s right. The center, as in the balancer. I honestly suck at that job. The only time I do it well is when I keep my mouth shut and pretend everything is always alright at home.

I swear to you, every time I open my mouth at home … chaos ensues.

The Advantages of Being A Middle Child (At Least In My Family):

No worries, I’m not only complaining here. I’m also enjoying the advantages of being a middle child:

* Having been self-trained early for independence. (This may happen if your parents are too busy with their eldest or the youngest — and by the time it’s your turn, they’re already exhausted and you just don’t have the heart to burden them some more.)

* Having more self-confidence in venturing out and trying new things on my own. (During my self-exile / isolation, I often took risks — some have finally forced me to move back home with Ma and my whole family … at the age of 42. Single and 42, but — hey, I still keep my job, thankfully. I’m also an Indonesian — so no one’s going to laugh at you or call you a loser like they probably do in the West. They’d rather have me move back closer to my own family like most regular Indonesians think I should.)

* Having more guts to reach out to strangers and form new bonds/friendships than most Indonesians normally do in schools.

… and many more …

So, let’s see how this new situation may turn up for me.

Bibi