Why I Often Take Myself Out of Arguments on X
I admit that once upon a time, I was crazily involved on social media. I’d write and post stuff almost religiously. I tried reading and catching up with almost everything that piqued my interest.
Then, what happened? Nothing. I’ve just gotten bored and busy — sometimes both. These days, I even struggle to find some time to write more regularly.
Of course, there’s also another obvious reason.
The Lost Cause and Time
Honestly, I don’t like arguing or debating. I’m not even that good at price-bargaining during shopping. I simply have no heart to do so to people trying to make a decent living. I was even cross at my Australian friend when he commented with such a shocked expression on his face:
“Wait, you can’t bargain? How come?? You’re an Indonesian woman!”
Have I told you just how stupid and damaging stereotyping is? I think I’ve mentioned this quite often already.
Anyway, some people have perceived this as a sign of my cowardice. How come? I don’t know. Beats me. Those guys (yep, they are!) told me that if I wanted to be taken seriously, I had to be brave and fierce in arguing. You know, standing by your words, defending your arguments — most possibly at all costs.
I finally did, though — and guess their response:
“Well, sorry! I didn’t mean to sound as if I wanted to kill off your ideas, okay?”
See what I mean? You can never win with them.
I don’t mind debating or arguing, as long as the goal is to find common ground. You know, finding a (hopefully) win-win solution to a problem.
If not, there should be something like … agree to disagree. I mean, it’s impossible to always see eye to eye with each other, no matter how well you might get on with one another.
It’s a different story if your goal is to debate others, just to show off how knowledgeable you are. I also don’t want to bother responding to those who choose ad hominem to “counterarguments”. You know, those who choose to criticize your personality, the tone of your voice, and how you handle things — instead of focusing on the real problem.
Those who only argue with you for the sake of arguing are also so bloody exhausting. It’s even worse when they (choose to) take it personally, even when you don’t even really know each other. (Remember, this is social media.) They no longer play fair. Once they decide to hate you, then everything you say and do will just come out wrong to them.
They’ll even go to great lengths just to try to silence the people they hate. Bullying, doxing, you name them. No matter how many times they get reported or/and blocked, they always come back for more. They open more new accounts, fake accounts, or whatever — just so they can keep on cyberbullying the people they hate. No joke.
Some people just have too much time to do with their own hands. I mean, what’s the bloody point? Do they think doing that will change people’s minds … or stop them from speaking up? Maybe some, but not all. Those ‘restrict’, ‘report’, and ‘block’ buttons are there for a reason.
I’ve learned that, once people make their minds about you, then they’re a lost cause. All you can do is respond with the same energy. Make yourself their “lost cause” too. Seriously, don’t waste your time responding to them!
Bibi
